Life with Justin is nothing, if not exciting. And often comical. This is entirely out of love.
You need to know that Justin has a way with words. His own special way. Whether it’s throwing down “scraw” on the scrabble board and then defending it with, “you know—pine scraw.” Or deciding on what movie “gene-ree” we should watch. In case there’s confusion, it is pine straw, and genre. I refer to it as Justinese. His own special language of greatness.
About a week before Easter, as we sat at the dinner table, Justin said to me, “so Jeremy’s wife is Episcopalian—you know where I’m going with this.” No, no I don’t. I wondered if she had some wild Easter tradition that was religiously based. Justin continued: “she only eats fish.”
Cue the uncontrollable laughter. “Justin, it’s pescatarian. Episcopalian is a religion!”
This has been discussed, and giggled about, ever since. Honestly, I think what makes it even more hilarious is the way he matter-of-factly makes these statements.
Yesterday, he outdid himself, and I love it.
He walked into the kitchen after work and said, “so, I tore my labium.”
“Wow,” I said. “Me too—when I was birthing Xander.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “Not my labia. My labium. In my shoulder.” This, of course, is the first time I’ve heard of the dreaded shoulder vagina tear. I google it. And of course, it’s actually his labrum—the cartilage in his shoulder.
Take a moment to giggle at Justin’s torn shoulder vagina. Thank you for being amazingly adamant…and so very wrong, all at once.
I met Justin in October of 2002. He was quiet. And…he was just really quiet.
I dated his friend, which is how I came to meet Justin. Proof that the events in your life lead you to where you are meant to be. Justin was getting ready to leave for the Army. For 4 months, Justin was always there.
Then he left for the Army. My unhealthy relationship with his friend ended. Through it all, the thing that upset me the most was that I was losing my tie with Justin.
Then the summer of 2003 rolled around, and was a rough one for me. By the end of it, I had spiraled into a deep depression, and as much as I told myself I was strong and single, I was anything but. My ex reappeared in my life, and we entered right back into our unhealthy on again/off again nonsense.
The best thing that came from me falling back into bad habits: one night at a party, Justin called one of his buddies. When his phone was about to die, he gave Justin my number. Finally, my friendship with Justin was no longer dependent on my being in an unhealthy relationship.
Thus began the most epic friendship of all time. We talked on the phone every night, for 2 hours or more. You might not think much of it, but this was a pretty big deal, because I hate talking on the phone. The greatest thing to ever happen in my life is text messaging.
I loved him. We only said it to each other a million times a day. He would tell me I should just marry him, and I would tell him he was being silly–we never even dated!
I would even talk to his friends, and they would say things like, “why won’t you marry Justin!?” Giggles giggles giggles. Oh my goodness, I can’t marry him! He’s my best friend!
When Justin left for Ranger School, we talked for hours the night before he left. We said our good nights and hung up; he called me back and said, “I just wanted to tell you I love you.” Aww Justin, I love you too! I was getting my hair dyed at the time, and the girl who was doing it said, “oh my gosh Sam! That was so sweet!” Yeah yeah. He’s the sweetest.
For the next 9 weeks, he wrote to me every day. If you are unaware of Ranger School, the sleep deprivation is insane. There were letters that would start out legible and then …______ “I fell asleep writing to you last night.” Those letters are a window into sleep deprivation-induced insanity. The anticipation of receiving those letters was intense! At one point he said an instructor actually told him no guy ever wrote as many letters as he did.
I ended up in a very short-lived, weird relationship with a guy who was…gross. Low point. When Justin called me on his graduation day, and I had to tell him I was kind of with someone, I felt like I was cheating on him. It was so hard to tell him.
But Justin was coming home on leave! And in the summer of 2004, I spent every free moment with him. If I wasn’t at work or at school, I was with Justin. We drove up to Maine, and went to his family reunion. His cousin got crazy drunk and asked us why we weren’t dating. Um, because! Justin is my best friend! Do you know what happens when you date someone?! You break up! And then you never speak to each other again!
Around the time that Justin headed back to Fort Benning, I got a text from him: it was too hard to just be friends. He loved me, but he couldn’t do it anymore. I read it to my best girl friend, Tanya. “Sam, you have to kiss him.” That sounds like a terrifying idea. I was not even a little bit ready to lose my best friend, but honestly at this point, it looked like I was on the verge of losing him anyway.
He was not true to his word, and we got right back into talking for hours every night. I would fall asleep on the phone. He would fall asleep on the phone. Justin starting asking me to marry him once more, and once again, I started giggling at the idea. Oh Justin, you’re so silly.
In the Fall of 2004, Justin said, “you’re never going to come visit me,” which I instantly took as a challenge. I booked my flight–I would fly to Georgia, drive back to New York with Justin. And then 2 weeks later, I would drive back to Georgia, and then eventually fly home. And once again, Tanya said, “you have to kiss him.”
But–
“If you never kiss him, you’ll never know if this could be more.” She was always right, and always offered the best advice.
Just a couple of kids in love.
So, I kissed him. And by March, I was asking him to marry me. I flew down to visit in April, and then in May he flew me down to be his date to a military ball–where I had a full on panic attack moments before he was supposed to be recognized for winning Ranger of the Quarter, or Superhero of the Century–I can’t remember which. Either way, he stayed with me while I unrealistically panicked over nothing.
When I got back to New York, I called him: “let’s get married when you’re home on leave.” He said sure (because “yes” is not in Justin’s vocabulary).
With the help of Tanya, I planned everything. And kept it a secret from everyone. Don’t even ask me why we were so set on eloping and telling no one–looking back, I’m sure we both had our reasons, but I’m sure they were all silly.
The morning of my baby sister’s high school graduation, Tanya came and picked up Justin and I. We were going out to breakfast with her, before she moved to Vegas: is what we told everyone. Really, we were driving 45 minutes away to get married in a city where no one knew our parents.
I love the story of us. I got to marry my best friend. Everyone should. Marry someone who wants to be with you every day. Marry someone who puts you before sleep. Marry someone who will call you back just to tell you he loves you. Marry your best friend.
Last night, it hit me at about 6pm that when we woke up, it would be Valentine’s Day. Well, crud.
After work, I rushed my kids over to the PX, so they could get valentines to hand out to their classmates (I briefly debated NOT going to get any, but I already fight the internal “bad mom” demons).
The number of men frantically wandering around the store was laughable. Chocolates, teddy bears, balloons, wine–nothing was safe. I unintentionally made eye contact with one man; the fear in his eyes was intense, as if I might seek out his significant other and tell her that he was frantically buying one of everything, 30 minutes before the store closes on the night before Valentine’s Day.
This morning, I took my first sip of coffee, and then said, “wow Sam. Two spoonfuls of sugar in your coffee?! What were you thinking!?” It seems I felt as though I needed something a little extra sweet on this day.
Yesterday, my boss said, “tomorrow’s a busy day. There’s a lot going on.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Time cards.”
“And??”
I drew a blank. “I don’t know–what’s tomorrow?”
“Valentine’s Day!” Oh yeah. That one.
My boss took his wife to the National Farm Machinery Show, although the truth of it is that he was taking his buddy (aka, his very adorable almost 4-year-old grandson), And she was the lady with the snacks. But in all honesty, as a man who can’t even give me a straight answer when asked, “how many tractors do you have,” being married to a woman willing to take the day off so he can admire large farm machinery, is hitting the wife jackpot.
Justin is 7,000 miles away. Also, we’ve never really done anything for Valentine’s Day. I would certainly not expect him to ever be the frantic, panicking fool at 7pm in February 13th!
He did treat me to new jewelry–it was just a matter of finding a location for it. I had industrial dreams, but alas, space is limited. I might have gone a little piercing crazy in my teens (and no, the purple lines are not permanent).
Obviously, a new piercing or two is not everyone’s idea of a Valentine’s Day dream come true. I guess this is my version of the Farm Machinery Convention. Maybe next year I can finally convince him to get matching tattoos.
The morning of my baby sister’s high school graduation, Tanya came and picked up Justin and I. We were going out to breakfast with her, before she moved to Vegas: is what we told everyone. Really, we were driving 45 minutes away to get married in a city where no one knew our parents.
He did treat me to new jewelry–it was just a matter of finding a location for it. I had industrial dreams, but alas, space is limited. I might have gone a little piercing crazy in my teens (and no, the purple lines are not permanent).